Mix Tape: 25 Songs for 25 Moments in Their Lives
by Awkward Turtleduck
Summary: Songfics. A series of one-shots on the relationship between Mio and Ritsu, and sometimes Mugi, during and after college, based on different songs and not arranged chronologically. Track 4. Time After Time - Ritsu didn't want to leave her behind.
1. Simple Together

**Simple Together**

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**_Disclaimer:_ "K-ON!" the manga and anime and the song "Simple Together" belong to Kakifly, Kyoto Animation and Alanis Morrissette respectively.

_Summary:_ Mio remembers the hopes, dreams and expectations that were dashed with an unexpected parting.

_Rating:_ T - for foul language

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The room had never felt so empty, even when nothing really had changed. The large bed at the corner, with rumpled bedsheets, still bore traces of her lingering scent. On the low table, her yellow mug still stood, unwashed. Her drumsticks carefully placed on top of the dressing table looked ready to be picked up at any moment now. Her clothes still hung on the closet, on their closet.

It was as if she was still there.

But Mio knew very well that it wasn't true.

As she laid herself down on the carpeted floor, beside the bed, her long black hair in disarray, she couldn't help but let her tears fall. She had been crying for weeks now and she had half-expected her tears to have dried up. She knew that staying in this place which she and her best friend and lover had called their home wouldn't do anything good. But she couldn't tear herself away. It was only here that she could still feel her presence. It was here that she could sometimes make herself believe that she would return, with that mischievous grin in her face.

That Ritsu would return.

Mio should have read the signs long ago.

-oOo-

She gingerly got up and looked at the empty bed. She smiled at the blanket with pink floral print. She remembered the day when they went to the supermarket, shopping for the things they would need at their new apartment. They were still giddy, still at the honeymoon phase of their relationship. It was amazing really, how smoothly (almost) the transition from best friends-to-lovers was. Of course, there were the painful times of coming out to their parents and how they had to constantly seek solace in their bandmates' arms. But ultimately, the realization of how they were so in love with each other helped them overcome those difficult times.

It didn't end there though. They had their differences. They would fight with each other over mundane things, and sometimes over serious things. They would fight about the furniture, money, time, sex—ah, the list could go on and on. Sometimes, Mio would run away in the middle of the night, crying and end up at either Mugi or Yui's place. And Ritsu would always pick her up in the morning with that apologetic look in her face. It was never easy but they always found their way back to each other.

And that time when they bought the pink floral blanket. Mio wanted it so badly because it was cute. Ritsu laughed at her taste and said it was too girly and childish. It was at that time when she felt she had enough. Everything that she liked was always too girly or childish for Ritsu, from the lyrics she wrote in high school, to the designs she picked out for their apartment. And honestly, she was fed up with being laughed at, for being dismissed. So she stormed out of the supermarket after yelling, "Ritsu you idiot!"

She didn't go to Mugi or Yui though. She just went straight home to their apartment and threw herself on the bed, wondering why they were still together even though they didn't get along most of the time. Thinking about this, she fell asleep. She woke up in the morning to find the pink floral blanket covering her, and the girl with light brown hair sitting on the floor with her head on the low table, asleep. And Mio realized then and there the reason why.

They loved each other. It was as simple as that.

-oOo-

But the cycle of disagreements and reconciliation wasn't about to broken until they had a very nasty fight when Ritsu's irresponsibility finally took its toll on Mio. At first it was just about losing things, forgetting dates and not cleaning up after herself but when it became a question of something serious like her job, things turned ugly.

"Why can't you be so serious about your job?"

"For the last time Mio, I am trying my goddamn best! I'm sorry I'm not living up to your standards! If I make you so unhappy, why don't you just leave me then? Life is not a fucking fairytale!"

Those words cut Mio deeper than any sharp knife. And tears flowed from her grayish-blue eyes and she could only whisper, "Why can't it be like that... when... I love you so much?"

Seeing her tears always moved Ritsu and she knelt down and wrapped her arms around her. She kissed the top of her head again and again while saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I promise I'll try harder."

That night, they made love with such aching tenderness that Mio understood was Ritsu's way of saying that she was willing to keep her promise. And that made Mio love her even more.

-oOo-

They were sitting on the park one winter's day, snuggling close to each other. Snow wasn't falling but the air was still freezing them both. Mio was looking at a family passing by, the little girl giggling happily at some joke her father was making. A mixture of sadness and longing assailed her. On one hand, she was remembering how she used to take a walk in the park with her parents, and the thought that now, it would never happen again. Her parents had finally accepted the fact that she was in love with another girl but they still couldn't bring themselves to welcome her back again with open arms. They were civil but no longer warm.

The other thought was of having her own children. It was true that she would never have her own, being in love with another girl, but somehow she couldn't quash that dream of becoming a mother. It was also true that she sometimes considered adoption but with the way things were going for her and Ritsu, it just wasn't possible.

Ritsu must have noticed because she whispered in Mio's ear, "When I finally get that promotion, let's adopt a child."

Mio turned her head to look at her lover's face and saw in her brown eyes that she was serious. Mio could feel her face burning with a mixture of surprise, happiness and love.

"R-Really?"

"Sure. By then, we'd be financially stable. And I promise I'd be a responsible parent!" Ritsu grinned. "And then we can go travelling and our child will be so exposed to a lot of things that—hm, do you want a boy or a girl?"

Mio laughed. "I've always wanted a little girl."

"Well then, we'd take our little girl to other countries and she'd learn a lot of languages and she'd be so smart (just like you) and she'd be so fun and adventurous (just like me) and she'd be the greatest kid ever!"

That promise wasn't so long ago. Which was why it ached now more than ever.

-oOo-

When Ritsu was down with the flu, Mio was reminded of how her lover was more physically fragile than she was. It was never obvious since Ritsu was always this bundle of energy, always on the go, always looking for fun, always with the smile on her face. But Mio had always known since Ritsu's mother confided to her once, when she and her best friend were little.

It was unfair really, how someone who had so much joy for living was also the same person who could easily be brought down by sickness.

Knowing her vulnerability, Ritsu always tried to avoid anything that could possibly make her sick. She had learned to cook for herself, so that she could eat the vegetables that she didn't like. She would make sure she had a balanced diet, exercised daily (which also translated to her preference for the physically demanding position of a drummer), and having enough sleep (which often spills over to laziness).

Which was why Mio never really thought much about it. It was true that Ritsu sometimes catch colds but because of the care she had been taking with her body, nothing was ever serious.

But the flu turned into something more deadly. Complications arose. And in Mio's frenzied state, everything was too quick, too sudden. Before she knew it, she was gone.

Ritsu was gone.

-oOo-

Mugi, Yui and Azusa came by their apartment almost every day since the wake. They offered to clean the place up but Mio refused.

"I don't want her gone... please, not yet..."

They understood and let the place alone. They still came by, bringing Mio food, keeping her company for a while. But they knew that she still needed time to grieve in her solitude.

Mio saw one of Ritsu's shirts which the latter had carelessly tossed around weeks ago (was it only weeks? it had felt like years), when she was in a hurry. It was a black turtleneck fit top. Mio picked it up from the floor and hugged it, as if she was hugging the person who had worn it. She breathed in the lingering scent that had been slowly fading away. Mio knew she had to let go soon but it was just that she and Ritsu had so many dreams together. They still had a lot to achieve, a lot to experience, a lot of good times to be had, a lot of bad times to be shared. Together.

But—

Tears fell on the black fabric.

"I guess... I was... sadly mistaken..."

(end.)

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_Author's Note:_ I'm so sorry that the first fic is quite depressing. But it just so happened that the song I was listening to was "Simple Together." I'll be trying to get happier tunes next time. And the fics aren't following a timeline, so whichever part of their lives fits the next song I'll hear, then that's it. I also appreciate song suggestions. :D

Reviews are most welcome.

And for those who are also reading my other fic, "As 1000 Nights Pass", I'm afraid I'm stumped. Sorry. I'll try to get back to it as soon as possible.


	2. Head Over Feet

**Head Over Feet**

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**_Disclaimer:_ "K-ON!" the manga and anime and the song "Head Over Feet" belong to Kakifly, Kyoto Animation and Alanis Morrissette respectively.

_Summary:_ How Ritsu made her best friend fall in love with her.

_Rating: _T – for sexual innuendoes

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Mio woke up and saw that the sun hadn't risen yet. Or quite possibly, evening had set in once again. There was a slight throbbing in her head, which could only be from all the alcohol she had consumed the night before. She groaned as she tried to reach out for her phone but stopped as she became conscious of the scent from the pillows where her face was still resting. It was lavender. She snuggled closer to the pillows, abandoning her attempt to check her phone for the time or messages she might have received.

It wasn't like she was fond of lavender. It wasn't even her perfume. There was just something strangely familiar and comforting with the scent but Mio wasn't in the mood to think about the reason why. She just wanted to hug the pillows and pull the warm blanket closer to her. She could feel the throbbing in her head slowly easing away.

She was in this blissful state for a while before she realized that she wasn't in her bed. She opened her eyes and scanned the room. Even in the darkness, she could tell that it wasn't her room. She squinted as she saw a figure huddled on the low study table in the middle of the room. The figure had its head resting on the table, asleep.

Mio sat up and rubbed her eyes. She studied bed that she had been lying in, the room that she was in and the figure sleeping on the table.

She was in Ritsu's room.

She got up, took her phone and saw that it was 4 a.m. Now that she was away from the comfort of the bed, she could feel the lingering effects of alcohol once again. Aside from the hazy feeling, Mio also felt a parching thirst. She got up, walked towards Ritsu's sleeping form and gently shook her shoulder.

"Hey Ritsu, wake up."

"Mmmm..." came a sleepy reply.

Mio could feel the throbbing pain again and decided to get herself some water to drink before she made any attempts to wake her friend again. She scanned the room for any bottle of water and finding none, she decided to go to the bathroom.

Turning on the lights momentarily blinded her. She took a minute to let her eyes adjust to the sudden brightness before going to the sink. She washed her face, gargled and spitted out the water, before taking a glass and filling it up with tap water. As the cold water washed away the parched feeling in her throat, Mio felt much better. She wiped her face with a towel before heading back to the bedroom.

Her drummer friend was still asleep. Mio thought about waking her up again so that she could sleep on the bed but decided against it. She just took the blanket and wrapped it around her friend's body. She sat down on the bed and thought about the events last night.

She had gone drinking with friends, which included her bandmates and some people they met in college. She initially didn't want to go but after much prodding, especially from the adorably ditzy Yui ("Pleeeeeeaaaaaase, Mio-chan! Just this once!"), she finally relented. She was telling herself that she'd only look at them have fun in the bar. She wasn't planning on drinking or dancing. But then again, it was very difficult to resist the temptation, especially with the surreal disco lights, the blaring heart-thumping music and her friends going wild. Before she knew it, she had downed five shots of vodka, three shots of tequila and a couple of glasses of cocktail drinks.

Mio winced as she recalled throwing up in the toilet, with her friend the keyboardist Mugi holding her hair. She also remembered dancing on the dancefloor, sometimes with her friends, sometimes with some handsome strangers (although she remembered Ritsu cutting in whenever anyone got a little too close). She could still hear the cheers of her friends as she lost her usual self-control ("Wow, look at Mio-chan! She's going wiiiiiiiiild!" "You're so hot, Mio!" "Go, Mio-chan!").

Recalling all these now made Mio blush. "Oh god, what have I done?" she groaned.

She glanced at her still-sleeping friend. Ritsu was there too and Mio knew she had a higher tolerance for alcohol. But why didn't she stop her from making a fool of herself? Maybe she was waiting to see her embarrassed look in the morning. Mio shut her eyes in mortification. She grabbed a pillow and hugged it close to her. Somehow the scent of lavender calmed her nerves.

But then again, there was something comforting with that wild night. Ever since, Ritsu had confessed that she was in love with her, there had been an awkwardness between them. Mio turned her down, saying that she wasn't ready for a relationship and that (here Mio could see the pained look that Ritsu tried to hide) she just didn't feel the same way. It was true, Mio was comfortable with the way things are and she wanted to keep it that way. No need to change anything.

Not to mention, Mio still held on to her childhood dream of a fairy tale prince coming to sweep her off her feet with a kiss.

Ritsu accepted the rejection with a laugh, although Mio knew that she was hurt. They still went out, have lunch or dinner together, talk about school, everything that they used to do. But there was something off. Things just weren't the same anymore.

Last night though, Mio felt free. She could even remember laughing with Ritsu over some funny story their friends were telling. They even danced together. They were able to have a good time, with no awkwardness hovering above them.

Mio looked at her sleeping friend again. She recalled Ritsu taking her to her apartment since Mio was so drunk and it was already late for her to go back to the dormitory. Up until Ritsu's confession, they had been staying in the same dorm room. But Ritsu soon realized that it would be wiser if she moved out. Besides, Ritsu was going to more and more parties and it was more sensible if she just rented a room.

Before blacking out, Mio made sure that she left enough space on the bed, just in case Ritsu wanted to sleep. Thus, it surprised her now when she realized that she had the whole bed to herself and Ritsu chose to sleep on the table.

As she was thinking about this, Ritsu stirred. The amber-haired girl looked around her groggily.

"You should sleep in your bed now."

This seemed to have jolted the drummer awake because she immediately straightened her back and turned towards her friend, letting the blanket fall from her shoulders.

"Mio, you're awake." Then she chuckled, "How's the hangover?"

"Thankfully it wasn't that bad."

"You talking about last night?" Ritsu grinned.

Mio could feel her face heating up. "S-Shut up!"

Her friend just laughed. "It's all right. You didn't do anything crazy." Ritsu stretched out her arms but winced a little. "Ah, guess my sleeping position sucked," she muttered.

This brought Mio back to what she had been thinking before her friend woke up. "Hey Ritsu."

"Mm?"

"Why didn't you sleep on the bed? I made sure that you'd have enough space before I slept last night."

Ritsu's face darkened momentarily before she flashed a grin. "Because you move too much. And you snore."

Mio blushed. "I do not! Stop making things up!"

The grin on Ritsu's face had softened to a smile as she continued staring at her friend.

"Ritsu?"

The sun was already rising and the sky was already taking a golden hue. Ritsu had been staring at her friend as the sunlight seemed to gently envelop her outline. For Ritsu, it was beautiful. She was beautiful. And with that, she felt the familiar constricting feeling in her chest.

"You want to know why I didn't sleep on the bed?" she murmured softly.

"R-Ritsu?"

"It's because I wasn't sure if I could stop myself, being so close to you."

Mio stared at her friend. By now, the sun had risen and the room was bathed in a golden light, taking the same hue as her best friend's eyes and hair. Mio couldn't help but think that she looked like a princess in her golden realm.

Ritsu snapped out of her reverie. "Ah! I'm sorry. I know we've talked about this before... I'm sorry." She hung her head sheepishly.

It struck Mio now why she had wanted to stay in bed earlier, why the lavender scent was pleasing to her even though she didn't really like it as a perfume. It was simply because it was Ritsu's scent. Nothing made her feel more safe and secure than being with her best friend.

Her best friend who was always looking out for her even when she was teasing her mercilessly.

Her best friend who could read her thoughts even when she tried to hide them.

Her best friend who brought music and happiness to her life.

Her best friend who was willing to stay with her even if it hurt.

Her best friend who wouldn't take advantage of her even if she was so in love with her.

Mio felt a sudden warmth in her chest, which she felt was spreading to her face as well. And she knew why.

It was because of this loveable idiot in front of her.

She didn't need any prince who'd come to sweep her off her feet with a kiss. She already had a princess who had been with her since childhood, and who had, just by simply being with her, swept her off her feet. It only made sense now to still make that last part of her childhood dream come true.

She got up and sat herself in front of her drummer friend.

"Mio?"

Before either of them realized what was happening, Mio closed their distance as her lips found her friend's lips. It started softly before she her hands found their way to her friend's neck, increasing the pressure and intensity of the kiss.

It was Ritsu who broke away first. Her face was red as she panted, "Mio, what are you doing? Are you still drunk?"

Mio looked at her friend before dropping her gaze. She could feel her face flaming in embarrassment. "N-No... I'm not..." Here, she took a deep breath. "But... I might just be... in l-love with you..."

Ritsu stared at her in disbelief. "What did you just say?"

"Ritsu you idiot! Don't make me repeat it!" she yelled as a fist came crashing down her brown-haired friend's head.

As Ritsu held her hurting head, Mio said, with more conviction (but still with the red face), "I said I might be in love with you too."

Ritsu looked up, as a mischievous grin spread in her face. "Well, how do we make sure of that?"

Mio blushed a deeper shade of red as Ritsu's face came nearer and nearer towards hers. Then, remembering how wonderful it had felt to lose her usual self-control sometimes, she leaned forward and kissed her friend passionately. Ritsu fell back in surprise but her black-haired friend didn't break away. As the drummer was about to say "Ow!" from the impact, her friend took advantage of the opening and slipped her tongue in. Ritsu could only moan in surprise and pleasure.

Never in Ritsu's wildest dreams did she think that something like this would happen—her best friend reciprocating, and then taking the initiative in physical intimacy. But to hell with all that, what mattered was that Mio was in love with her.

Her best friend was head over feet in love with her.

(end.)

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_Author's Note: _Okay, so this is a happier fic. Another Alanis song. I'll be changing playlists soon. Hehe. And I have to finish some papers so the next update will probably be in a week or so.

As usual, reviews are most welcome. :D


	3. Je t'aime

**Je t'aime**

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Disclaimer:_ "K-ON!" the manga and anime and the song "Je t'aime" belong to Kakifly, Kyoto Animation and Spitz respectively.

_Summary:_ Ritsu finds comfort in Mugi's company.

_Rating: _K+ – :)

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Darkness had already set in when Ritsu found herself in front of Kotubuki mansion. The place wasn't easily accessible since it stood near a cliff. She had to get herself a cab to get here and paid a rather steep fare. But it was all worth it, if it could bring her to the kind girl living here.

Ritsu rang the doorbell and waited to be let in. She took a step back as she admired the whole place. The compound was five times as large as the Sakuragaoka High School, and thrice as large as their university. The tall majestic gates seemed to leer at her and her smallness when she first saw the place. But now, they only seemed to welcome her, just as the girl who lived here would undoubtedly do.

It didn't take long before she was let in by a maid who bowed to her in greeting. "Tsumugi-sama is waiting inside."

Ritsu bowed awkwardly and proceeded to the main house. She had been here twice before, once with her bandmates, and once when she had sought comfort from Mugi. Her reason for coming this time was the same as the second and she felt slightly guilty about it.

"Ricchan!"

Ritsu looked up and saw her friend waving enthusiastically at the top of the steps. Ritsu couldn't help but grin back, "Yo, Mugi."

"What brought you here?" the blonde girl asked when her friend finally reached the top of the steps. "We could have met somewhere nearer to your place."

"Ah, well..." Ritsu scratched the back of her head in embarrassment.

Mugi seemed to have understood and she smiled. "You're still avoiding her?"

Ritsu didn't answer but her face turned a deeper shade of red.

"Let's go inside, the air out here is cold."

They settled themselves in the drawing room. The sight of the tall bookcases intimidated Ritsu, not so much because of their height, but more because she wasn't so fond of books. How she would manage getting through her classes without help from her friends was a mystery that she'd rather not unravel. She sat on a tall-backed comfy chair, sighing in contentment.

Tea was served a few minutes after they went inside, and when the maid left, closing the door behind her, Mugi spoke up. "So what brings you here, Ricchan?"

"Ah! I just, uh, needed company," the other girl said sheepishly. "B-But don't worry! I won't be doing anything stupid again," she added hastily, reddening.

Mugi smiled. "But I won't mind if you do."

Ritsu's cheeks flamed as she exclaimed, "What do you mean by that?"

The blonde girl laughed. "Don't worry, I'm just teasing."

Ritsu didn't say anything as she let her blush go away. Mugi looked at her friend, admiring how her golden eyes reveal her thoughts. She had always found Ritsu beautiful in her rough, unpolished ways. She was her opposite—whereas Mugi was prim, proper and naive to the workings of a commoner's life, Ritsu was wild, carefree and so involved with the simple joys of a middle-class lifestyle. They had once gone out on a date back when they were still in high school and Mugi never recalled having so much fun before. She honestly wanted to go out on another date but Ritsu had been busy with a lot of things, most of them concerning their raven-haired friend, the bassist of their band, Mio Akiyama.

Mugi felt a slight twinge of jealousy whenever she thought about how Ritsu was always with her best friend.

The silence in the drawing room remained unbroken but Mugi didn't mind. This comfortable type of silence could only exist between real friends and even if Mugi wanted more, she was happy just the same.

Ritsu was absorbed in her own thoughts, which Mugi suspected to include their black-haired friend. Mugi then let her own thoughts wander, to the time when Ritsu first came to her, crying. She had just confessed to Mio that she was in love with her and was turned down. She didn't go to her classes for the day and instead waited outside the university for Mugi.

She was wearing her trademark grin when she asked her to keep her company for a while but Mugi could tell that she was on the verge of crying. Ritsu insisted that they go far away and they ended up riding the train and having ice cream three stations away. When Mugi asked what was bothering her, Ritsu refused to answer and instead blabbed on about inane details of a commoner's life. Mugi let her ramble on, waiting patiently for her friend to open up to her.

Eventually, when evening set in, Ritsu proposed that they go for a walk. Ritsu continued her rambling and Mugi listened in silence under the orange streetlights.

"Hey Mugi, how do you see the streetlights?"

"Huh?" Mugi was surprised at the question. It was the first time that Ritsu was asking something in the entire length of their time together that day.

"I mean, what do they remind you of? I've always seen them as... wounds."

"Wounds? What do you mean, Ricchan?"

"I mean between the gray pavement and the dark night sky, they are so painfully glaring, like open wounds." Ritsu stopped and laughed in embarrassment. "I sound weird, don't I?"

"No, you don't. It's actually quite poetic. Maybe you can write a song about that!"

Ritsu laughed out loud. "Poetic? Me? Writing a song?"

Mugi smiled, "Yes, you could write a song about them."

"So what about you Mugi? How do you see streetlights?"

"Well I've always found them comforting. They are there to guide you in the darkness and keeps you from getting lost."

"Hmm, I see."

Mugi couldn't help but feel then how much she wanted to see the streetlights in the same way that Ritsu did. Perhaps they would be closer if they were able to see things the same way. But at the same time, she couldn't help but love the streetlights, especially now when they were walking together, just the two of them, in that dark night and silent roads, with only the orange lights guiding them.

They had walked all the way to Ritsu's apartment, which surprised them both.

Ritsu laughed. "I'm so sorry Mugi! I didn't intend for us to walk this far. And it's already late!"

"It's all right, Ricchan. I had fun."

"But this isn't anything like the last time we were together. I didn't take you anyplace nice."

"I don't mind. Being with you is itself nice."

Ritsu blushed. "Do you have to go home now?"

Mugi shook her head. "I can stay with you for a while longer, if you want."

"All right! How about this, since you're already here, why don't I make you dinner? It's the least I can do for dragging you with me."

"Sure, I'd love that."

As Ritsu made dinner for them both in the kitchen, Mugi couldn't help but admire her friend's place. The walls were covered by posters of Keith Moon, there were stacks of books in one corner which Mugi suspected were used as a substitute for drums, clothes were thrown carelessly in one corner. The place was branded by Ritsu's presence and Mugi found herself wanting to stay there.

"Tadaaa!" Ritsu laid down plates of pork cutlets, fried rice and beef stew on the low study table. "Sorry this is all I could prepare. I forgot to buy ingredients."

"It's all right. If it's prepared by Ricchan, I'm sure it tastes great!"

Ritsu reddened. "Stop it, you're embarrassing me."

Ritsu continued talking as they ate but Mugi noticed that she was in a better mood. She was engaging her in conversation, unlike earlier. This thought made the food taste even better.

After clearing away the dishes, Mugi offered to wash them. Ritsu agreed but said that she would help out. They washed the dishes together, playing around with soap bubbles so much that it took them an hour to finish.

When they settled down again on the bedroom, Ritsu started fidgeting.

"Ricchan, what's wrong?"

"Mugi, this is kind of embarrassing but..." Ritsu reddened. "...but... can you... stay here for the night?"

The blonde girl felt her heart soar at these words. "Of course!"

"You sure your parents won't mind?"

"I've been staying in the dorm so it's all right."

"That's great!" Ritsu scratched the side of her face and added in a low voice, "I just didn't want to be alone tonight."

"Ricchan?"

"Anyway! You can stay in the bed, I can sleep on the floor. I have a futon stowed away in the closet anyway."

"No! That won't do. This is your place so you should be staying in your bed."

"But you're my guest. I can't let you sleep on the floor."

"I'll be studying all night then."

"You have to sleep!"

They glared at each other for a minute before bursting out in laughter.

"If you don't mind, let's just sleep on the bed together. It's big enough for two anyway." Ritsu grinned.

Mugi could feel her face heating up. "A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I don't move much in my sleep nor do I snore so it's okay."

Mugi smiled in delight. "Okay then!"

After taking a bath, Ritsu lent some of her clothes to Mugi. They then went to bed together, with Ritsu taking the side closest to the wall. Mugi had never felt this happy in her entire life, so much more than when she and Ritsu had gone on a date a few years back. As she was in this happy state, Ritsu spoke.

"Mugi?"

The blonde girl turned to face her friend. She had let hair down and Mugi couldn't help but think how she liked it better when her friend had her bangs pulled back by her yellow headband.

"Yes, Ricchan?"

"I confessed to Mio yesterday."

Mugi felt her heart constrict in pain. "What happened?"

Ritsu laughed but it was so full of sadness. "She rejected me."

"Are you all right now?" Mugi asked in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

"Not as good as I'd like myself to be." Ritsu closed her eyes. "But I'm feeling better because you're here. Thank you, Mugi."

Ritsu fell asleep soon after she said those words. Mugi looked at her friend's face, wanting so much to touch her cheek, to hold her close. Just as her hand was only a few centimetres away from the brown-haired girl's face, she saw tears spilling from her friend's closed eyes. Mugi withdrew her hand and contented herself by looking.

Ritsu woke up in the middle of the night, her body wracked with sobs.

"Ricchan?"

"M-Mugi, you were awake!" She hastily wiped away her tears. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"No, I couldn't sleep. What's wrong?"

Ritsu laughed. "Nothing, it was just a silly dream."

This time, Mugi couldn't stop herself from hugging her friend. "Shh, it's all right. Everything is going to be all right."

Feeling this gentle warmth moved Ritsu so much that she let her tears fall. "M-Mugi... I dreamed that... Mio and I... drifted apart... and that she went... to a place so far away... Mugi, I don't want that! I want to be with her... even if it's just as friends! I love her... so fucking much..."

Mugi ignored the pain in her chest as she continued to hold the sobbing girl in her arms. "It's okay, Ricchan. It can be done. You can still be friends. I'm sure Mio-chan wants that as well. You've been friends for so long."

Ritsu drew back and looked at Mugi's blue eyes. "R-Really?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

They remained that way, their eyes locked together and before she knew it, Ritsu brought her face close to Mugi's and kissed her ever so softly on the lips. Then she promptly fell asleep again.

Mugi decided then that she would wait. She would wait for Ritsu to open her heart to her.

"Hey Mugi!"

The blonde girl snapped back to the present and saw that her friend was staring at her in curiosity.

"What were you thinking? You were so lost in your thoughts."

Mugi laughed. "I was just remembering a happy memory."

"Oh? What memory was it?"

"The time when I slept over at your place."

"O-Oh." Ritsu fell silent. "It's been eight months since then, right?"

"Yes. Eight months, seventeen days."

"You've counted?"

Mugi laughed. "It's one of my peculiarities."

"I'm sorry about that."

"You don't have to apologize. I enjoyed the walk."

"N-No. About the... uh... the kiss."

"It's all right Ricchan. I didn't mind."

Silence weighed in once again. This time, Mugi broke it by asking, "Have you finished your tea, Ricchan?"

"Uh, yes!"

"Let me refill your cup for you."

"No, I can do it."

But Mugi already stood up and went over to her friend to take away the cup. Ritsu hastily took it to insist that she could do it herself and in their struggle, their hands ended up touching. Their eyes met and it seemed like the moment was going to be replicated.

Ritsu couldn't understand why but there was something in her friend's earnest blue eyes that seemed to draw her in and just like that night, she found herself drawing closer and closer. Mugi didn't move a muscle, as if waiting, waiting for Ritsu to close the distance between them.

Their hearts pounded together in unison, as if calling out to each other from the prison of their chests, when their lips met. Mugi's lips were soft, gentle and warm, initiating nothing, just waiting patiently for the other girl to open up to her.

But it was when the distance had closed between them that Ritsu realized that they would forever be far apart.

Ritsu was not in love with her. And this painful truth made her draw away from the beautiful blonde girl in front of her.

"I'm sorry Mugi. I can't do this to you."

Silence, broken only by the sound of restrained breathing and hearts beating, weighed on them both. Ritsu couldn't bring herself to look at the other girl, realizing how unfair she was being.

"It's okay, Ricchan. I know you're still in love with Mio-chan." Mugi took her friend's hands in hers, making the other girl blush in embarrassment.

Ritsu squeezed her friend's hands before bowing her head again, "I'm really sorry!" Before she knew it, tears filled her eyes, falling against her will on Mugi's pale hands.

Mugi closed the distance between them once again, holding the drummer close to her in a hug. She rubbed her friend's back, letting her cry away all the pain and frustration that she had been feeling. But every sob that escaped from her friend's chest beckoned to those that she had also been trying to suppress in her own. She just held Ritsu closer to her, wishing that being this close to her (no matter how distant they really were) would be enough.

Once Ritsu had cried herself out, she got her bag ready. "I'm sorry for intruding on you and, uh, for everything else. Thank you Mugi."

Mugi smiled. "You're always welcome, Ricchan."

Ritsu bowed before heading to the door. But before she left, she turned back again and said earnestly, "I really hope you find the person you'll love. And that person better love you back or I'll beat her (or him) up!"

Mugi just laughed but when Ritsu had left the compound, she couldn't help but let the tears she had been holding back fall.

She went to the veranda overlooking the city. Their mansion had been built on a cliff and so she had the whole city before her, the city filled with people finding comfort in each other.

"Je t'aime! Ich liebe dich! Te amo! Wo ai ni! Aishiteru! Minä rakastan sinua!"

Mugi screamed out to the distant city lights and the indifferent night sky riddled with shivering stars, hoping in the middle of this lonely nowhere that at least one of these languages could speak clearly enough to the girl who was now on her way to the somewhere she belonged.

That night, Mugi finally saw the streetlights as wounds in the canvas of the night sky and the gray roads.

(end.)

* * *

_Author's Note: _Haha I said I'd update in a week but I was so inspired, I couldn't help it. This time it's a Mugi x Ritsu fic but still plays along the timeline of the 25 songs. The song is "Je t'aime" by Spitz, amazing. I first heard it in "Honey and Clover." Another great anime. And thank you for the reviews! They make me happy. I'll also check out the songs. And yes, there will be an M-rated fic but let me get around to it, all right? :3

"Minä rakastan sinua" is "I love you" in Finnish. And before that, the phrase is in French, German, Spanish, Mandarin, Japanese. :)

I've also started the next track. It's another sad fic so please bear with me. As usual, reviews are most welcome. :)


	4. Time After Time

**Time After Time**

_

* * *

Disclaimer:_ "K-ON!" the manga and anime and the song "Time After Time" belong to Kakifly, Kyoto Animation and Cyndi Lauper respectively.

_Summary:_ Ritsu didn't want to leave her, but it just wasn't up to her anymore.

_Rating: _M – for sexual content and depressing stuff

* * *

Twenty-eight.

It was such a young age to die.

Ritsu let out a small sigh as she stared listlessly at the empty white ceiling. She had been staying in the hospital for over two months now and she could feel her strength leaving her as the days wore on. She had been falling asleep much more frequently and for long stretches at a time. Because of this, she always seemed to find herself alone, with only the blank face of the ceiling to greet her.

It wasn't that Ritsu didn't notice that her friends still dropped by. She could see traces of their presence in the fruits and little oddities (such as strings of small paper cranes in various colors that seemed to multiply with each passing day) that they brought. But she rarely got to see their faces anymore.

Not even her lover, Mio.

Ritsu knew that Mio had been busy trying to make ends meet, especially with the costs of hospitalization, and of course that impending sordid affair. This practical side of Mio was one of the things that had endeared her to Ritsu but as they had started living together, it had also pissed her off. When Ritsu wanted passion, more often than not, this cool practicality came in between them.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Being in bed for so long had made her too introspective.

As she continued staring at the ceiling, she winced as she felt a hollow pain burning in her chest, like acid corroding her heart. It used to keep Ritsu up for many nights but as her strength gradually left her, numbness had set in. Thus it surprised her to feel it again now.

She knew that the pain had nothing to do with her illness, but more of the knowledge of the impending end that she never wished for.

When the doctor first told her that her days were numbered, Ritsu had laughed it off. She insisted that other tests be made. She even went to other doctors. But when they all told her the same thing, she reacted in anger, throwing anything, everything that she could lay her hands on. It was unfair. Why did it have to be her, when she had so much to live for? She still had so much to learn with her drums, so many good times to share with her friends, so many places to go to, so many things to experience... together with the person she was so in love with.

It was true that they had been together since they were little, and yet for Ritsu, it seemed like they had only been _really_ together in the almost eight years that they were lovers.

Eight years.

It was such a short length of time for people in love.

-oOo-

When Ritsu woke up hours later, she found a pool of soft black hair beside her, and the face she loved so well just a few inches away from her. Ritsu could feel the warm rhythmical breathing of the woman on her neck and it pained her as much as it comforted her.

She tried to reach out to caress the pale face. She managed to let her fingers whisper touches on her lover's soft skin. This brief contact made Ritsu happier than she had been in days.

She had been at a loss on what to do around her. When Ritsu was still angry at the realization that she would die soon, she shut everybody out, including her lover. She would stay in their bed, her face on the wall, ignoring the words and touches of the raven-haired woman. She must have understood Ritsu's need to be alone because she never imposed herself on her. She would just stay there, calling out softly when it was time to eat (which Ritsu oftentimes ignored). Sometimes she would touch her tentatively, and if Ritsu gave any slight indication that she didn't want to be touched, she would back away.

But even with this gentleness, the rage and pain that Ritsu felt inside would overflow. One night when Mio told her that it was time for dinner, Ritsu ignored her and drew the blankets closer to her.

"Ritsu, you have to eat something. You haven't had anything for two days now."

"I'm not hungry."

She seemed to hesitate on what to say next but eventually she persisted, "Ritsu, you have to have some nourishment—"

"I said I'm not hungry!" Ritsu wrenched the blankets away from her and turned towards the other woman. "Why can't you just leave me alone! You don't understand anything! You—"

Tears had formed in the black-haired woman's eyes, which she hastily wiped away. But Ritsu also saw that her eyes were red, as if she had been crying all the time. Her face was pale and wan, her figure thinner than Ritsu remembered.

Ritsu turned away and laid herself back on the bed, with her face on the wall. She closed her eyes and tried to erase the burning image of her sad lover from her mind. Thankfully, fatigue and weakness set in and she fell asleep.

Later that night, when Ritsu woke up drenched in sweat after having a nightmare of getting lost in a desolate land, with only darkness and silence for her company, she found her lover sleeping beside her, still in her shirt and jeans, ready to go anywhere to get anything that Ritsu might have wanted.

It was that gentle understanding that broke the wall of Ritsu's rage and anger.

Ritsu could feel the sobs rising from her chest and she just had to go somewhere, away from this loving kindness she didn't feel she deserved. She quietly left their apartment, keeping the painful throbbing in her chest from breaking out.

She went to a convenience store, bought a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, and then walked towards the park where she smoked for a while. It was still summer, and the air wasn't so cold. She knew that smoking in her state wasn't a good idea but it was her only comfort in solitude. As she breathed in the acrid smoke, she could feel warmth coursing down her throat and then to her lungs. After five sticks, she felt warm inside.

She looked up at the clear night sky and saw the stars that hadn't been drowned out by the painfully glaring city lights. She had oftentimes wondered how these stars struggled to keep their presence known even with the merciless passage of time that brought with it the suffocating lights trying to claim the night sky as their own. Sometimes she thought that she and her friends were like these stars. They were just a small band, playing together only because they were having fun. They didn't aim for wealth and fame. Even when so many people offered them contracts, they refused because they didn't like to be constricted by schedules and be pressured to playing. They've been told often enough that they were letting their talents go to waste. But they didn't mind.

Just being together was enough.

It wasn't asking too much and yet, even that couldn't be granted.

When Ritsu finally went back to the apartment, she found Mio sitting on the gate, hugging her knees and her head resting on her arms. The sight made Ritsu's heart constrict with pain. The black-haired woman didn't look up as Ritsu approached so the latter assumed she was asleep. The amber-eyed woman gently shook the sleeping woman's shoulder.

"Mio," Ritsu called out gently.

The black-haired woman made s slight movement as she woke up from her slumber. As her sight cleared and she could make out her lover's face, she burst into tears. She enclosed the shorter woman in a bear hug. "Ritsu you idiot! I was so worried... I thought you had gone somewhere... I couldn't f-follow..."

As Ritsu felt her lover's warm shaking body against hers, she couldn't help but feel the rising need to pull her closer, to go inside her. It wasn't just desire, that much she was sure. It was a mixture of so many things, of so many tempestuous emotions that had built up inside her and that she had to release. So she pulled away only to take the taller woman's face in her hands and crushing her lips against hers in a violent kiss.

Ritsu could see that Mio wasn't resisting. When she had pulled the other woman back to their room, Mio followed, not with eagerness, but with meekness that was so unlike her. Ritsu hastily took off her lover's shirt (and almost ripping it in the process), pulling down her jeans and removed her underwear until that pale, well-shaped body was before her in its beautiful nakedness. But whereas before, she would take her time taking in the sight of those perfectly round breasts with the pink nipples erect, the gentle curve of the sides of that flat stomach, the wide, inviting hips and those long slim legs, Ritsu immediately began kissing her lover passionately. She didn't bother taking off her own clothes and she knew the sensation of her black turtleneck and her skin-tight jeans must have felt harsh against her lover's bare delicate skin. But she didn't care.

She forced her way inside her lover's mouth, licking the inside, as if trying desperately to find pleasure which seemed to elude her. She didn't take her time there and instead started to trail kisses from Mio's mouth to her chin, and then to her neck, and then to her breasts. She began sucking on her lover's breast as she let her hand travel downwards between Mio's legs. She started stroking the gray-eyed woman's clit and found that she wasn't wet enough.

She then let go of the gray-eyed woman's nipple and proceeded to kiss her inner thigh, licking her way through until she was in the apex between her legs. She continued tracing her tongue on the folds of sensitive skin until she thought it was enough to facilitate entry. She inserted her finger inside of her lover and she felt her tense with pain. She continued kissing her lover's clit, in a lame attempt to make it easier for her. But the knot of emotions inside of her overrode any feeling of compassion, concern and consideration and she jammed another finger inside. She saw Mio grasp the bed sheets, trying not to cry out. It broke Ritsu's heart and she proceeded sliding her fingers gently, all the while kissing her lover's delicate areas with utmost tenderness until the little spasms culminated to a cry.

Ritsu withdrew her fingers wet with Mio's essence and she finally looked at her lover's face. Tears were still flowing from her clear gray eyes and Ritsu realized how much she must have hurt her. The amber-eyed woman rested her head between her lover's breasts and asked in a voice that was barely a whisper.

"Have I hurt you?"

In between shallow gasps for breath, Mio answered in an equally soft voice, "I... don't know... how much you are hurting... and the least I can do... is to be of some use to you... to ease your pain..."

Ritsu burst into tears at these words and she let her tears gather into a hot pool on the hollow between her lover's breasts. She couldn't help but think if Mio was being nice to her only because she was going to die. Ritsu was suddenly overwhelmed by feelings of anger, hurt and pain. But as Mio gently enclosed her in an embrace, she felt everything melt away and she was only conscious of her lover's heartbeat, lulling her to sleep.

They stayed that way, falling asleep in each other's arms.

-oOo-

When Mio woke up, she found clear amber eyes, almost covered by the long brown bangs, looking at her. The nurses had advised them that tying back the sick woman's bangs, or wearing a headband would be better. But Ritsu would hear nothing of it. After all, Mio loved her best with her bangs down.

"Ritsu you're awake," Mio murmured sleepily.

"Yes. You're tired, aren't you?"

Mio laughed. "Not so much."

"What have you been up to?"

"Just sorting out the technical stuff."

"I want to hear about that."

Mio squeezed the shorter woman's small hand. "It will just bore you."

"But I haven't seen you for such a long time." Ritsu pouted. "Please, Mio-chuan."

Mio laughed and kissed the other woman affectionately. "I haven't heard that in a while."

Mio then recounted how she had travelled back and forth just to get an advance in her salary and the tiring rides she had to make. She was continuing in this vein when she noticed that Ritsu was closing her eyes. She squeezed her hand again. "See, you're not even listening," she chided.

"I am! I'm listening to your voice." Ritsu grinned. "You're right, your story is pretty boring."

Mio shook her head. "Ritsu you idiot," she mumbled with a small smile.

"Hey Mio, I want to go for a walk."

Mio looked at her curiously. "Are you sure? Aren't you weak?"

"I've wanted to go to the garden for so long but I didn't want to go alone, or with a nurse."

"Maybe we should ask the nurse first."

Ritsu's brows crinkled in irritation but she let the other woman go to search for the nurse and make her inquiry. After a few minutes, she was back.

"She said it's all right."

She gently helped her lover to her feet, letting her rest her weight on the taller woman as they slowly walked in the hallway, towards the garden outside.

As they seated themselves on one of the gray stone benches, Ritsu couldn't help but think how life was so achingly beautiful.

"Hey Mio let's make every second count," Ritsu said brightly. Almost too brightly. "We're running out of time so let's try to make every second, every moment special."

"Ritsu?"

"Let's go to the beach! We've always held our summer training camp there, right? We can ask Mugi if she can spare a vacation house. It's been quite a while, don't you think? We've all been busy with our jobs but I guess we can always spare a day to be together. And perhaps we should also go to a concert. We used to go to those a lot. I'm also thinking of skiing but winter is still too far away and maybe I won't make it 'til then. So what else can we do? How about we go on a food trip and travel all over Japan? I'm sure there are still a lot of good food we haven't tried. Or maybe we can just stay at home and I'll try to cook for you, all those weird dishes in the recipe books. That sounds good, right? But hey Mio, you haven't said anything. Which would you want to do first? I think I can fix a timeline later. And then I'll show it to the doctor and I think she'd agree. Who can refuse a dying person's wishes, right? Right?" Ritsu turned towards the other woman, with that bright smile still plastered in her face. "Mio?"

Mio had covered her face with her hands as Ritsu rambled on about her plans.

"A-Ah, it didn't sound good, right? Sorry. You know we can always change those plans. Just say what you want to do and I'd be fine with it. Mio?"

The black-haired girl still didn't raise her face.

"Mio, there are barnacles crawling up—"

"Please don't force yourself."

"What?"

"You don't have to force yourself..." Mio looked at her with a pained expression. "Don't go on so fast... It's okay if we just... take things slow."

The smile on Ritsu's face faded slightly. "What do you mean? Don't you want to do all those things?"

"Just being with you... right now... is enough..."

Ritsu fell silent and took to looking at the garden spread out before her. Seeing the trees, grass and flowers still growing, still blossoming as if their will to live was enough to lend color and beauty to such a sad world, made Ritsu's eyes sting with tears. She would be lying if she said that she had fully accepted her fate. She still didn't. She still wanted to live.

This didn't go unnoticed to the gray-eyed woman sitting beside her. Mio let her arm drape around the shorter woman, drawing her closer, without saying a word.

They sat there in silence, staring at the sight before them, so full of life and promises. It burned their eyes and in their cages of sadness and loneliness, the two women failed to see how they were so similar in their suffering.

"Hey, Mio."

"Yes?"

"Before... all these happened... what had we been doing?"

Mio looked at the other woman curiously. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Ritsu lowered her head, letting her bangs cover her eyes. She continued in a soft voice, "Were we happy?"

"Of course we were," Mio answered firmly. She held the other woman closer to her. "Of course we were."

"But we were fighting, weren't we?"

"Couples fight sometimes. It's part of any relationship."

"But we fight far too often..."

"It's normal Ritsu."

"What had we been fighting about again?" Ritsu asked, as if she didn't hear anything.

Seeing that the amber-eyed girl was not going to let the topic drop, Mio let out a sigh. She let a few minutes pass by before she spoke. "We were fighting about the bills."

"I spent too much on food, didn't I? And I keep forgetting to turn off the lights when I go out. I leave the TV on until I fall asleep and I keep the air-conditioner on when I get too lazy to go out."

"Ritsu..."

"I also bought all these useless stuff, some to please you but you were never really happy with them since they cost too much," the amber-eyed continued as if she wasn't interrupted. Her voice was slowly getting louder but at the same time, it sounded so close to breaking. "I bought a lot of manga too. Oh and I also bought all these video tutorials on different drumming techniques. And I also bought a lot of DVDs."

"Ritsu..."

"And you know, I also bought all those recipe books which you said... were too many for me... to try them all out... in my lifetime..." Tears had began flowing from her eyes and she could no longer suppress her sobs. "You were right, Mio... I wouldn't have been able to... try them all out... in my lifetime..."

The black-haired woman wrapped her arms around the shaking figure of her lover. She held her so close, like she was afraid that if she didn't hold her tight enough, the brown-haired girl would break into pieces. "Ritsu, I'm sorry," she murmured.

"And... and... we fought about my job before that too... right? I wasn't... trying h-hard enough..."

"Shh, we've already resolved that."

"And before that... we fought when... you found out... I still smoked sometimes... and we also fought about... my being too... sloppy... in everything..." Ritsu buried her face in Mio's neck. "A-All we ever do... is fight..."

"You're wrong, Ritsu. It's true we fight a lot but we did have good times together. Remember the time when we went to the carnival together with Yui, Mugi and Azusa? You made me ride the 'Anchors Away' and I ended throwing up in the bushes." Mio laughed softly. "And do you also remember the time when we went on that trip to Nagano just to eat at that soba place. It was so far but the soba was really good. And then we also went to the park and we saw one family and... w-we agreed to..." Mio trailed off as she realized her blunder. She dug her fingers deeper into the other woman's body as she tried to keep the tears from spilling from her eyes.

Ritsu pulled away as she felt the other woman trembling. Even in her own anguish, it still pained her to see her lover cry. As she tried to wipe away Mio's tears, she said weakly, "Geez Mio... I should be the one being comforted..."

"I-I'm sorry..."

Seeing her cry made Ritsu feel that familiar warmth in her chest, the warmth that seemed to have been slowly fading as the years wore on. At the same time, a sharp pain cut her inside as that doubt that she had been vainly trying to push aside loomed larger than ever. That lingering doubt that perhaps Mio had only stayed because of habit, or worse, because of pity.

And the thought effectively killed all the emotions that Ritsu had just been feeling. Her expression became cold and stony. She let the gray-eyed girl cry herself out, without even making any attempt to comfort her. When Mio's sobs finally subsided, Ritsu spoke.

"Mio, please be honest with me."

"Ritsu?"

"We were falling apart, weren't we?"

Mio instinctively opened her mouth to object but saw how serious Ritsu was. After a few moments, she answered quietly, "Yes, we were."

"Were we falling out of love?"

"No!" Mio answered vehemently. And after a few moments, she asked in a voice that seemed too afraid to hear an answer, "Were you?"

"I guess we are just too different." The brown-haired woman's voice was low and achingly sad. Mio stared at her, her heartbeat slowing as she anticipated a revelation.

"But... I did love you Mio..."

Mio felt everything coming to a halt. Color was drained from her face and she could only stare at brown-haired woman who was still not looking at her.

"I still do." Ritsu turned to face her. "And I guess something good did come out of all this. It made me realize again how much I love you." She looked away again, as if not expecting any reaffirmation from the black-haired woman.

That action tore Mio inside. Tears came stinging to her eyes and despite her attempts to control them, they traced their way down her cheeks and she could only managed in between her muffled sobs, ""Ritsu you i-idiot... why are you always like... t-this?"

"Mio?"

"W-Why are you always... acting like you're... the only one... in love? H-Haven't I showed you... enough proof... in these years that we've been... t-together how much... I love you too? Do you think I... w-would have stayed... if I didn't? I love you, you idiot! I love you so much... it hurts..."

The other woman just looked at her in silence, an unreadable expression on her face.

"Why won't you believe it? I'm not saying all these because of the things that are happening... I-It's true that... we f-fight a lot... it's true that I... I've had my doubts at f-first... but damn it Ritsu, I love you! I'm madly, ridiculously, frustratingly in love with you... You are so important to me that I can't think of not having you around... Y-You are the air that I breathe... the rhythm of my life... you are everything that holds me together! And... even if... things have been... hard... there's no one else in this... whole world that I'd rather be with! Don't you get it? I loved you... I love you... and I will always love you... time after time..."

The heavy silence punctuated by Mio's sobbing was broken as Ritsu laughed softly. "Wow, that made me itch."

"Ritsu you idiot!" Mio's fist came crashing down on her lover's head before she could stop herself. Realizing what she had done, she wrapped her arms around the amber-eyed woman wincing in pain. "Oh my god Ritsu I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I—"

Ritsu just buried her face in the gray-eyed woman's shoulder. "Shh. I'm fine." They stayed in this position, basking in each other's comfortable warmth without speaking.

"I'm sorry Mio. I believe you," Ritsu murmured. She snuggled closer to her lover. "It's just that... I had thought that you might have stopped loving me... or you might have loved me less... because," here she lowered her voice in apologetic embarrassment, "I am not what you had always dreamed of."

"Idiot... you are infinitely better than any dream I've ever had," the gray-eyed woman whispered as she kissed the top of the head of the woman in her arms.

"Mio."

"Hm?"

"Thank you for loving me."

(end.)

_

* * *

Author's Note:_ Although "Time After Time" was composed by Cyndi Lauper, I was actually listening to Eva Cassidy's version.

I just realized that although each of the tracks can stand on its own, they have to be read together to get the bigger picture. Especially since I don't think I can fit their relationship in just one story. And I don't think I'd be doing any fic set earlier than their univ days since I think the series has covered those times well enough.

I was using the Kübler-Ross model for the stages of grief that Ritsu was going through—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. But I didn't use them all. I've been using Mio's POV for the first two tracks, then Mugi's and now I'm using Ritsu's! Even if Mugi plays a big role in some of the tracks, rest assured this is mainly a Mio x Ritsu fic. But I'm trying to get the real feel here, especially since Mio and Ritsu are so different, things won't go smoothly for them.

I might end up revising the earlier chapters as I go along since everything is still taking shape. And I'm sorry if things are ending up way too angsty. I'm still summoning my fluffy side.

For the record, this track was supposed to go before "Je t'aime" but this has taken me so long. Hehe. No matter. All's good. And I'm seriously, seriously going to work on my acad stuff so no updates for a while. Sorry.

Some of you may have noticed but I changed my username a couple of times. I was "Blood Garnet Feather" for a few years and then I became "Awkward Platypus" and now I'm "Awkward Turtleduck." I think I'll be sticking to this name for good. Besides turtleducks are so cute, even if they're... awkward-looking.

And I recommend the movie "Things You Can Tell Just By Looking at Her." It consists of five stories and one of those stories involve a lesbian couple and one of them has a terminal illness. That story was short, sweet and poignant.

I also want to hear what stages of Mio x Ritsu x Mugi's relationship you guys want to read about. I already have some in my head but they won't reach 25 yet. Also, if you can suggest songs for those stages, I'll be happy to oblige.

Haha I'm getting to be real talkative. Seeing that the previous track was well-received made me so happy (oh crap, tears in my eyes) and also I felt a bit pressured to give my best. This story was meant as some sort of stress reliever for me, especially since the school year is ending soon (and I'm not graduating when I should).

Oh and this is my first M-rated fic. Sorry it's also depressing. I'd really like to hear how I've fared in my attempt.

I'll try my best to make a happier fic next time. But it will take a while. Hehe.

Thank you for your reviews! They keep me inspired. So keep them coming. :3


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